Two Friends Who Disagreed

Imagine a letter from a dear friend being read aloud to your whole church. And then, near the end, the reader says your name. And the name of the person you have not been speaking to.

The church in Philippi began beside a river. When Paul first came to the city, he found a group of women gathered for prayer by the water, and Lydia, a seller of purple cloth, became the first believer there. From the start, women were at the heart of this church. Years later, Paul is in chains, and he writes the Philippians a letter full of warmth. He calls them his joy and his crown. But he has heard that something is wrong. Two of the church's leading women, Euodia and Syntyche, are at odds.

Paul does not scold them from a distance. He pleads. “I beseech Euodias, and beseech Syntyche, that they be of the same mind in the Lord.” He uses the same word twice, once for each of them, as if he is turning to look at one, and then the other. He does not take sides. We are never told what the quarrel was about. What we are told is how Paul sees these two women. They laboured with me in the gospel, he says. They fought side by side with me, like teammates. Their names, he adds, are in the book of life. These are not troublemakers to him. They are dear co-workers who have lost their way with each other.

Then Paul does something wise. He asks for help. He turns to someone he calls his true companion, a loyal partner in the church, and asks this person to help these women. Some people think this was a name, Syzygus, which means yoke-fellow. Either way, Paul knows that friends who have fallen out often need someone kind to stand between them and help them listen. Peace-making is everyone's job.

And then the letter lifts, like a window thrown open. “Rejoice in the Lord alway: and again I say, Rejoice.” A man in chains, telling a church to be glad. Let your gentleness be known to everyone, he says. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer, with thanksgiving, tell God what you need. And the peace of God, which passes all understanding, will stand guard over your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. Then he gives them something to fill their minds with. Whatever is true, whatever is honourable, whatever is right, pure, lovely, and of good report. If there is anything excellent, anything worth praising, think about these things. And put into practice what you learned from me, he says, and the God of peace will be with you. You can almost hear how this would sound to two women who had been quarrelling. Not, who was right? But, think on what is lovely, and the God of peace will be with you.

The book of Acts tells us that when Paul arrived in Philippi, he went outside the city gate on the Sabbath to a riverside, where prayer was customarily made, and he spoke to the women gathered there. Lydia, from the city of Thyatira, opened her home to Paul and his companions. So when Paul names Euodia and Syntyche as women who struggled beside him, he is writing to a church where women had led and served from its very first day.

Two friends who disagreed. You'll find them in Philippians chapter four, verses one to nine. Paul did not pretend the quarrel away, and he did not take sides. He called them back to the Lord, and to each other. So here is a question to carry with you. Is there someone you need to make peace with, and who could help you take the first step?