Absalom, My Son

A king climbs the stairs to a room above a city gate, weeping as he goes. He has just won a war. But all he can say, over and over, is one name. “My son. My son.”

Absalom was King David's son, and everyone noticed him. The Bible says there was no one in all Israel so praised for his good looks, not a flaw from head to foot, with a famously thick head of hair. But there was trouble between father and son. Years of hurt in the royal family had left Absalom bitter and David distant. And Absalom had a plan.

Every morning he got up early and stood by the road into the city gate, where people came with disputes for the king to settle. He would call out, “Where are you from?” and listen to their story. “Your case is good and right,” he would say, “but the king has no one to hear you. If only I were judge in the land, I would make sure you got justice.” And when people bowed to him, he reached out, pulled them up and kissed them. The Bible puts it simply. So Absalom stole the hearts of the people of Israel. After four years, he went to Hebron, the town where David had first been crowned, and had trumpets sounded across the land. “Absalom is king!”

A messenger runs to David. The hearts of Israel are with Absalom. And David does something surprising. He doesn't fight for the city. “Get up, we must flee, or none of us will escape.” He walks out of Jerusalem with his household and his loyal men, across the Kidron Valley and up the Mount of Olives, barefoot, his head covered, weeping. The people with him weep too. The priests bring the ark of God, but David sends it back. If the Lord is pleased with me, he says, he will bring me back to see it. If not, let him do to me what seems good to him. Along the road a man named Shimei throws stones and curses him. David's men want to silence him. David says, leave him alone.

Back in Jerusalem, Absalom asks his advisers what to do. Ahithophel, the wisest counsellor in the land, says attack David now, tonight, while he is tired. But David's friend Hushai has stayed behind, pretending to serve Absalom. He says, wait. Gather the whole of Israel first. Absalom likes Hushai's plan better. The Bible says the Lord had arranged it, to defeat the good advice of Ahithophel. The delay gives David time to cross the Jordan and get ready.

The armies meet in the forest of Ephraim. Before the battle, David gives his commanders one order, loud enough for every soldier to hear. “Deal gently, for my sake, with the young man Absalom.” David's men win the day. And the forest, the Bible says, claimed more lives than the sword. Absalom is riding a mule under a great oak when his head catches in the thick branches. The mule runs on, and he is left hanging between heaven and earth. One soldier finds him and won't touch him, because of the king's order. But Joab, David's tough general, ignores the order. He takes three spears and thrusts them into Absalom's heart while he is still alive in the oak, and ten of Joab's young armour-bearers surround Absalom and strike him dead. Two runners race back to David. He asks only one thing. “Is the young man Absalom safe?”

Absalom chose his spot carefully. In ancient Israel, the city gate was far more than a doorway. It was where elders sat to hear legal cases, where deals were witnessed and where news was shared. In the book of Ruth, Boaz settles a family matter in front of ten elders at the town gate. Archaeologists have uncovered large gate complexes at Israelite cities, some with stone benches built along the walls. Standing at the gate, Absalom was standing where justice was meant to happen.

When the news comes, David goes up to the room over the gate and weeps. “O my son Absalom, my son, my son Absalom! If only I had died instead of you.” You'll find this story in Second Samuel, chapters 15 to 18. Absalom won people's hearts with flattering words, and turned them against his own father. David, even betrayed, never stopped loving his son. So here is the question. Whose words are shaping your heart, and are they leading you toward the people who love you, or away?