Joseph, a Righteous Man

A carpenter sits alone in the dark, unable to sleep. The news he has heard has broken his heart. And he is trying to work out how to do the right thing, and the kind thing, at the same time.

Matthew tells the Christmas story from Joseph's side. Joseph lives in Nazareth, a small village in the hills of Galilee. He is a builder, a craftsman, a descendant of King David, though there is nothing royal about his life now. He is betrothed to a young woman named Mary. In their world, betrothal was much more than an engagement. It was a binding promise, made in front of families and witnesses. The couple were treated as husband and wife in law, though they did not yet live together. That would come later, when Joseph brought Mary to his home. Until then, they waited.

And then, before they came together, Mary was found to be with child. Matthew tells his readers straight away that this child is from the Holy Spirit. But Joseph does not know that yet. All he knows is what anyone would assume. Think of how that must have felt. The woman he trusted. The future he had planned. The house he was perhaps building for them. All of it suddenly uncertain. In a small village, news like this would not stay hidden for long. There would be talk. There might be cruelty.

Matthew describes Joseph with one important word. He was a righteous man, a just man. He took God's law seriously. He believed that a promise like betrothal could not simply be ignored. And so, as he saw it, he could not go ahead with the marriage. But Joseph's goodness was not cold or harsh. Matthew adds that he was not willing to make Mary a public example. He did not want her paraded before the village, or shamed in front of the elders. He wanted to protect her, even while his own heart was hurting.

So Joseph made a decision. He would put her away privily, which means he would end the betrothal quietly. A small, private divorce, with no public accusations and no scene. It was the gentlest path he could find. Joseph thought it through. He had made up his mind. And it is right there, in the middle of his careful, painful planning, that Matthew pauses the story. Because God was about to tell Joseph something that would change everything.

That is why Matthew uses the word divorce for ending an engagement. In Jewish custom of the time, betrothal was a legal bond, so breaking it needed a formal certificate, just as the law of Moses describes in Deuteronomy for ending a marriage. A man could do this publicly, with accusations, or quietly. Joseph chose the quiet way, to spare Mary as much shame as he could.

You'll find Joseph's dilemma in Matthew chapter one, verses eighteen and nineteen. Before he hears from an angel, Joseph has already shown us what kind of man he is. Faithful to God, and merciful to Mary. So here is a question to carry with you. When someone has hurt or disappointed you, how can you do what is right and still be kind?